Rick Whitehead David Gobble

Carlos Fard Muhammad

Elizabeth Howard Grace Allison Pregler

Santa Christ Rob Walker

Samuel Tobinski / Kendrick Tobinski Doug Walker

The Devil Malcolm Ray

Willy Whitehead Brad Jones

Burton Burpo Brian Lewis

Ranger Buckman Zachary La Voy

Darlene Tamara Lynn Chambers

God Sarah Gobble

Young Rick Aidan Bart

Terry Nash Bozard

Father Jenkins Flynn Hanners

Rick's Mom Jillian Zurawski

Praying Man Ed Smith

Gabe Christopher Proffitt

Ned and Stacey Trevor Ollech

Internet Neckbeard Brian Irving

TV Cameraman Sean Wilburn

TV Producer Ed Glaser

Heaven's Stage Manager Joe Means

Dana Allison Means

Maid of Honor Tia Spencer

Christopher Hitchens (voice) Scott Spencer

Internet Commentor 1 Rob Sheehan

Internet Commenter 2 Cory Lyle Vinderslev

Internet Commentor 3 Eric Gaspard

Internet Commentor 4 Ryan Mitchelle

Internet Commenter 5 Michael Schiciano

Restaurant Patron (uncredited) Patrick Buss

Internet Neckbeard (uncredited) Louie Corbo

Bush (uncredited) Meagan Rachelle

Internet Neckbeard (uncredited) Patrick Thatcher

Omar Omar Ahmed